Discovering sperm donor dads through DNA testing is increasingly common—but anonymity was supposed to be part of the deal for donors. It’s one of the complicated possibilities when it comes to discovering DNA relationships.
As we move forward in this era of genomics, we are being forced to face some tough ethical issues that could not have been foreseen even just 10 years ago. One of these big issues is finding a balance between every individual’s right to know their heritage, and every person’s right to keep their personal lives private.
New spotlight on sperm donor fathers
One set of individuals who are finding themselves shoved into the spotlight of personal genomics are sperm donors. Thousands of adults have been conceived via a sperm donor; one organization alone, the Donor Sibling Registry, has more than 16,000 registered offspring.
The first successful in vitro fertilization tool place in 1978, giving hope to families who were currently unable to have children. Prospective donor recipients choose sperm donors based on profiles submitted to the agency. They contain specifics on age, physical description, education level and interests (if they weren’t de-identified, these profiles would be a gold mine of genealogical information!).
This scientific advancement in fertility treatments simultaneously created a market for sperm from healthy men. This exchange of biological material for cash went on for nearly 30 years before the first commercial autosomal DNA test became available in 2007. Male donors were were often college students who needed a little extra cash. At the time of donation, these men were assured anonymity and had no reason to suspect otherwise.
DNA testing changes the rules
But with the advent of widespread DNA testing, that promise has been broken. There is no such thing as anonymity in biological relationships anymore. Not for anyone. One of many examples of this was reported recently by a California newspaper, which declared that a donor-conceived boy raised as an only child found he has at least 20 half-siblings. Taylor indicated that he took the AncestryDNA test to learn more about his ethnicity, not knowing that he would also receive a match list. So to say he was shocked to find 20 half-siblings is an understatement. One of those siblings had already put all the pieces together and knew the name and location of their biological father, who had in fact been a college student in the 90’s and provided donations on both coasts of the US.
Just like that, the promises made to a college student strapped for cash vanished.
This particular biological father now has a wife and family of his own. Prompted by the new discovery of his additional biological children, he has written a letter to all of his offspring. As for Taylor, sounding wiser than his 19 years, said, “It is said that you don’t choose your family. But for me that’s not true. All of these half siblings…it’s a family of choice.”
Rights and relationships
Stories like Taylor’s help us better understand the rights of each of the parties in this situation, without all of the emotional environment that many encounter when they discover misattributed parentage in their family tree. There is no sense of loss or betrayal, just biological facts that help reveal the options that every person has when they take a DNA test. Everyone has a right to know their biological heritage, but relationships remain a choice for each party involved. These stories also remind us that we actually have no idea what the future will hold.
Got unexpected DNA results yourself? Read our tips on handling unexpected DNA connections.
Learn to “do the DNA”
If you’re trying to confirm or explore a potentially sensitive DNA discovery, you’re in the right place. At Your DNA Guide, we teach you how to understand what your DNA test results are telling you. Get started with our free guide, Birth Roots and DNA, and see what you can discover!
I did the Ancestrydna test and sometimes I get a cousin match that doesn’t make sense. Could sperm donators be the reason? I don’t want to invade anyone’s privacy and will leave it at that, thanks.
Yes, a sperm donor situation is one possible explanation for unknown matches.
As a sperm donor from San Jose state from 1982 to 1983, My offspring are approximately 40 years old.. I never married and I have no kids in my own.
And I would like to meet My offspring.
Thanks for your message. DNA is much more effective when used by a child looking for a biological parent, than by a parent looking for a child. In your case, in order to find you offspring, that person or one of their potential children would have had to have taken a DNA test. Whereas for the child to find you, as long as one of the descendants of your great-great-grandparents took a DNA test they could likely find you.
Of course there always is that chance that one or more of your children has taken a DNA test, so it never hurts to take a DNA test of your own. That way if any of your offspring has taken a DNA test, or ever does in the future, you could find them. We recommend testing with Ancestry DNA, as they have the largest database of people who have tested.