How to Find a Biological Father without his Name

Diahan Southard

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Searching for a birth father? Read these tips from Troy Olson from DiscoverFamily.net on how to find a biological father without his name from an expert who helps adoptees and others find their birth parents.

How to find a biological father without his name

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Our mantra for birth father searches

how to find biological father without his name birth parent IO.pngOur team has a mantra we use for birth father searches, “Paternity is always in question.” This means that we usually do not take any details or evidence provided as 100 percent accurate when it comes to determining and locating a birth father. In some cases, a birth mother may have been totally sober and aware at the time of conception and had no other sexual relations. But in many or most cases we work on there was frequently drugs and/or alcohol involved, as well as more than one possible sexual partner who could be the birth father. The simple logistics of the situation mean that the birth father only had to be present for a few moments. We have worked on cases where the birth mother refuses to divulge or simply doesn’t know. We don’t mean to offend, but we typically approach birth father searches needing concrete evidence. The most tangible evidence available is a DNA test or a paternity test.AncestryDNA test kit.jpg

Take a DNA test–and learn how to use the results.

Consumer DNA testing, in many cases, is the only way that a biological father can be accurately determined. It’s a two-step process:

  1. Take as many DNA tests as you can. Your results will be matched to others in company databases who share common DNA with you. Start with AncestryDNA,* which has the largest database of testers and best tools for figuring out how you’re related to others who have tested there. (AncestryDNA not sold where you live? Explore other options.)

  2. Learn how to explore your list of DNA relatives for clues about your birth father’s identity. If you test with AncestryDNA, take our AncestryDNA Tour to learn how to navigate your results and find answers in your DNA match list.

Not ready to meet your birth relatives?

Birth roots thumbnail.jpg You can learn a lot about your birth roots from your DNA even if you aren’t quite ready to have contact with your biological relatives. Learn more in a free downloadable guide from Your DNA Guide, which also has a table to help you understand the likelihood of being able to identify a birth parent with your current test results.

Get Free Guide: Birth Roots and DNA

Request your original birth certificate

Depending on what US state you were born in, you may be able to request your original birth certificate. See a breakdown of the laws of each state. This typically only works for those who were adopted. In our experience, it rarely has both the birth mother’s name and the birth father’s name. It’s one possibility, so we list it here. Born in the U.K.? Read Finding Birth Parents in the U.K.

Use a search engine to locate and research

If you have your birth father’s name or some pieces of information about him, you can use the internet to possibly locate him or additional information. Try these tips for searching for living relatives online.

Use a background check system

In this information age, it’s possible and even advisable to get a background check on any birth relatives.  You want to ensure your own safety and that of your family before ever reaching out to anyone. Many services provide background checks. Our team at DiscoveryFamily.net has tested many different systems and the largest and best we have found is TruthFinder.com.

Get expert help finding your birth father

Searching for a birth father can be a difficult and lonely process. Expert help is available! Read 4 steps to discovering your birth roots, and explore more do-it-yourself resources from Your DNA Guide that can help you in your search.

Get Free Guide: Birth Roots and DNA

Not so much a do-it-yourselfer? If you want free help finding birth parents from volunteer search angels, reach out to my team at DiscoverFamily.net

Thank you to Troy Olson, the Co-Founder of DiscoverFamily.net, for writing this guest blog post.

Troy+Olsen+DiscoverFamilynet.jpg Our team of search angels has helped thousands of people to find their birth parent(s). Over half of the requests we receive are people searching for their biological father. In this post, we want to help those who specifically want to know how to find their biological father without knowing his name. Here are the ways we approach searches when the names are not known. Please read and consider all of them for your search.

 

 

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<a href="https://www.yourdnaguide.com/author/guideyourdnaguide-com" target="_self">Diahan Southard</a>

Diahan Southard

As founder and CEO of Your DNA Guide, Diahan Southard has been teaching people how to find family history answers in their DNA for several years, and she's been in the genetic genealogy field since its infancy. Diahan teaches internationally, writes for popular magazines, consults with leading testing companies, is author of Your DNA Guide–The Book, and producer of Your DNA Guide–the Academy, an online learning experience.

117 Comments

  1. Newton Knight

    I guess I’m the only person on the planet with this problem of not knowing who the dad was,the birth-mother isn’t telling and her siblings are all psychopaths; thank god I was not part of that cabal and the first born before the mother. The ‘ancestry.CON’ did my test that my daughter sent to me for xmas. All fine and dandy until you open your DNA matches so everyone can see you. I did use an alias, phony email, etc. and then the thing went south. All the members of the cabal that have the mother and their father shows up as matches for me with at a half-sibling match….DUH. I immediately downloaded my dna test from "ancestry.CON" and deleted my dna from the site and deleted my account. One of the half-siblings IS a child molester; tried and convicted. TRUE. Right there for others to see, and waiting……..So, I sent off for a y-dna test at a better company to avoid the dna from the birth-female and her peanut-gallery of siblings. My question is: with no name will this test help?

    Reply
    • Diahan

      You are not the only one. There are so many people in your position with difficult biological family relationships. The AncestryDNA test, or others like it (MyHeritage, 23andMe) are the best way to learn the identity of your biological father. Yes, they will show relationships to your biological mother’s family as well, but it really is the only way to use DNA to find a parent. The YDNA can provide some good leads, and possibly a surname for your father. So it is a great next step. But you would likely always need More DNA testing, and more genealogy, to find his identity.

      Reply
      • Wayne

        I really need him is good to know him. His half white half black

        Reply
          • moo

            l only just found out after 12 that l have a stepdad

      • greyson

        dad no come home yet 🙁

        Reply
      • Mel

        I am a 44yr old Aussie girl a d I still do not know ow who my biological father is. I met my biological mum when I was 18 and till this day she still will not tell me even his first name. My step brother next down from me knows who his biological father is she told him but for some reason will not tell me. I am so angry as I have a right to know. It is the most frustrating and saddening thing to go through in life. I do t want to meet him or interupt in his life just know his name and get a look at his fa e from afar.

        Reply
        • Danielle Francis

          Hi Mel, it is frustrating and hard to not know information like this about yourself. Have you taken a DNA test yet? With DNA testing you can find out for yourself more things about who your biological father is, even if you don’t have a name.

          Reply
          • Judith keyte

            Hi, how can you tell from the DND test? Which I have done. Still waiting. I know my full birth certificate name but I can’t add it to my details just my mother and who I called Dad. I also know where he lived at the time 71yrs ago

          • Danielle Francis

            Hi Judith, we explain how you can use DNA test results to find a birht parent in our free guide here, it gives a really helpful overview https://www.yourdnaguide.com/birth-family

    • bro

      me to bro. my dad left with the milk, never seen him since.

      Reply
    • Anoh Thelma

      Am 20 years old and till now my mother has totally refused to tell me who my biological father is and no family member is telling me too so I have decided to search my self but I don’t know how to go about it

      Reply
    • Joseph Hank Olivier

      47 and no help from anyone moms, family r so huss huss really want to know

      Reply
      • Danielle Francis

        Hi Joseph, a great first step is taking a DNA test, have you done that yeT? We recommend starting with Ancestry because they have the largest database.

        Reply
    • Degan Ladiye

      I want to find out my dad he is in France

      Reply
    • Mpho Mokoena

      My mother passed away without telling me my father ‘s name ..I live with my granny and I wish for someone to help me to find my father who never met me

      Reply
      • Danielle Francis

        Have you taken a DNA test yet, that is where you’ll want to start. For most situations we recommend testing with AncestryDNA because they have the largest database of testers. You can read our whole analysis of best DNA tests here: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry

        Reply
  2. Josie Gustmann

    Hi I’ve done my DNA through Ancestry looking for my biological father with no success..I have no name for him,but have alot of infor on my Mother’s side..what else can I do?

    Reply
    • alba

      i click the lik u provide and doesnt work , page not found

      Reply
      • Danielle Francis

        Hi Alba, Which link was it that was having the trouble?

        Reply
    • Diane Ward

      I am trying to find my father and I have taken two different DNA tests. Unfortunately I am no further forward. I am lucky enough to have found a half sister but my mother has passed and family and friends are not talking. I’m confused on how to proceed.

      Reply
      • Diahan Southard

        I’m glad to hear that you’ve been able to tind your half sister. That is exciting, and also very helpful for finding unknown parents. You’ll want to have your half-sister take a DNA test as well, then you can use the shared matches tool to split your matches into two groups, one group that is related to you through the parent that you and your half sister share, and the other group will be related through your other parent. You can learn about the shared matches tool here: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/dna-shared-matches-tool

        Reply
  3. Marjorie Powell

    I need to know who my biological dad is ?
    Unfortunately my mum would always say she don’t remember,
    I was told on my18th birthday by my step dad I wasn’t his child.
    As time went on my mum still would not say unfortunately she has now passed away.
    All I know from my aunt who is 4 months older than me is his name
    Was Frank I don’t know if this is true. Please help.

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Hi Marjorie. There is certainly progress you can make towards identifying him using a DNA test. Check out our post on choosing a DNA test and start there if you haven’t already.
      https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-for-family-history
      Once you have DNA test results, you can go through and look for matches that you don’t think are related to your mom. Those matches will lead you to your dad’s biological family.

      Reply
  4. jeffrey sousa

    I just found out the name on my birth certificate doesn’t match my dna. I thought I was Portuguese but it turns out I’m Italian with a brother back East. How do I trace my real father?

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Hey Jeffrey, that is quite a discovery! If you have found a half brother, it sounds like you have found your father! If you want to know more about his heritage, you can start building out his family tree using traditional genealogy research methods.

      Reply
  5. K

    I’ve no name on birth certificate for father a want to find my father . Have no name and mother has died. How can I find him

    Reply
    • Diahan

      It all starts by taking a DNA test. Then you look at your closest matches to try to determine your relationship to them. We have lots of resources here on the blog and in Your DNA Guide – the Book. Just take things one step at a time!

      Reply
  6. Lindia B Mathis

    Hello. My mom is 83 years old and we both did Ancestry and Crigenic. In both instances, we were not able to identify who was her biology. As one of he previous comments, my mom’s situation was the same. Her birth certificate named father is not

    Reply
    • Rose Violette Jones

      I always felt different from my siblings and found out I was more than 50% jewish/ polish but my supposed father was 100% english,traced to 1600s. Wartime conception how do I find my fathers family? No close relatives showed up on ancestry or myheritage. I have only a nephew who could do a dna test.

      Reply
      • Diahan Southard

        Linda, it sounds like you have taken a DNA test, and you don’t have any close matches. You could for sure test your nephew to confirm that you are his half aunt. That would be a good start. Other than that, if you have matches above 200 cM you can likely find some information, if you want to pursue it.

        Reply
      • Brittany Ayers

        I have a close relative that shares over 1800 cM with me and 50% of my father’s. There is an account name but no real info on who this person is. Is there another way I can figure out? They are in multiple dna sites so maybe they are looking for us too?

        Reply
        • Diahan Southard

          You can reach out to them at every site they are on. If they have a username, you can to to google it. So if my username was DNAgirl53 then you would google “DNAgirl53” like that with the quotes to see if you can find out more.

          Reply
        • Danielle Francis

          Hi Brittany, have you tried sending them a message? I know it can be hard to know where to even start, so I would definitely recommend checking out our article on how to contact your DNA matches (https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/contacting-your-dna-matches). We also have a few articles on how you can do some research to find out who your matches are, this one describes a situation that is really similar to yours: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/find-living-relatives-google-dna-matches.

          Reply
  7. Lindia B Mathis

    Hello. My mom is 83 years old and we both did Ancestry and Crigenic. In both instances, we were not able to identify who was her biology. As one of he previous comments, my mom’s situation was the same. Her birth certificate named father is not what the DNA revealed. Her mom was born in a small Mississippi town and really did not stay to raise my mom. I would really like to help her find out who is her dad. Any advice for assistance.

    Reply
      • Drameta jo ray

        I really want to know who my real dad is an if I have any other sister or brother. I have always wanted to know.i have heard story.my aunt said she was gonna try to fine out come of my other relatives said they gonna. Try it never happen. So am 64 years old moms gone an I still don’t know

        Reply
        • Diahan Southard

          It all starts with your own DNA test, and then learning how to look through your match list for the clues you need to piece together your dad’s family. It really helps to have someone on your mom’s side take a test as well.

          Reply
    • AnT

      Hi I am a twin and me and my twin are 3 1/2 weeks apart in gestation and two minutes apart in birth. We were born I was white she looked like my Native American mother and her Hawaiian lover they did a lot of test and concluded he was not my father but he was her father. I grew up being treated different and never knew why I couldn’t see my self I guess. But when I got older I realized and I knew I needed to know the truth about my father. What test should I take

      Reply
      • Diahan Southard

        That is quite a history! I am not sure what kinds of tests you have already taken, but if you want to know if you and your sister are full or half sisters, you can both take a DNA test at the same company and it will likely be clear (see our recommendations at https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry). If it turns out that you do’t share a father then you can use your DNA Matches at your testing company to help you figure out who may have been your father.

        Reply
  8. Jane

    This is an unusual one. I am searching on behalf of my 90 year old mother in law who has never known who her father was.
    She would like to know his name or aproximate family before she dies.

    She has done and ancestry DNA test that confirms that it is likely he came from the area her mother was living at the time (Colchester in Essex).

    I’ve done what I can, but am getting a bit lost.

    Most of the close family that have shown up are from her mothers later marraige.

    Can you help at all? I don’t expect someone to say ‘it was this man’ (though that would be amazing), but knowing the family would be great. Due to her age time is running out. All involved parties are long dead so no great scandal will be caused.

    Reply
  9. Cyndi Staley

    I did DNA with Ancestry and I had a search Angel that had put things together before the DNA came back but she found a half brother’s ex wife that put me in contact with my brother. I got my DNA back and found a half sister and two more followed but my father was unknown. On my original birth certificate my father was not named and no one seems to know anything. I have been sending messages to relatives on Ancestry and some will talk and not know anything or I never hear back from others which is very frustrating. I am really hoping you can help me!! Thank you , Cyndi Staley

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Hi Cyndi. It sounds like you have had some success but are still missing some pieces. My book can help you, as well as our mentoring sessions and workshops. You can see all of those options under the Shop page.
      If you don’t have a half sibling on your dad’s side that takes a test, usually the best we can do is find a more distant ancestor, like a grand parent or great grandparent.

      Reply
  10. Dwain Rose

    Hi. I am looking to find/discover who my biological father is without any information such as name etc. I know my mother and her side. I just received my ancestry DNA results and I am so lost. I sent messages to 3 of the closest relatives however in cases there’s no response, what else do I do? How can I find him?

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Dwain, you have taken all the right first steps. If you have your mother or a close family member on your mom’s side take a DNA test, that will help significantly as we will be able to see which matches are from your mom’s side.
      Once we are sure a match is paternal, we can work to discover how your matches are related to each other, that is the key. To see their common ancestor with each other. Then we know that you are related to them in a similar way.
      My book walks you through that process, step-by-step. http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thebook. If you want more help, I suggest our Premium Mentoring service http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thementor. Or, ultimately, if you want to learn this process and really accomplish this yourself, you should enroll in the DNA Skills workshop in January. https://www.yourdnaguide.com/dna-workshops.
      It takes good technique and hard work, but we can often narrow down your great grandparents, and possibly even your grandparents, depending on your matches. Finding a father will depend on a few factors, one of them being how many sons a couple had. But certainly there is much you can learn from what you already have.

      Reply
  11. TJ

    Before I go to this website, Can we use multiple search angels?
    I worked with one from Facebook that gave me a tone of information on my bio mothers side. I do not want to seem disrespectful my adding another form of help.
    I’m possibly giving up my search for my bio mom, because the people The angel reached out to, didn’t know anything or did not want to get involved.

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Hi TJ. Excellent question. I am glad you are being so considerate. I would just talk directly with your current search angel and solidify where they are at in the search and if they feel like they have more work to do. Then you can decide if you want to just tell them thank you very much and move on, or if you want to continue with them.

      Reply
  12. Matthew Richardson

    Hello I live in Houston Texas. I was adopted and is desperately seeking to find any of my bloodline. The family I was adopted to abused me growing up and hates me too this day. Just wanting to fill this hole in my heart. Texas is a closed case state and the adoption agency I was in will not give me any info. Do you have any resources that may help me?

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Hi Matthew. It sounds like you have had quite a journey. I can hear your pain and your desperation to find your place in a family.
      I need to tell you that while finding your biological family will help you learn more about your biological past, and may help to ease your emptiness, it honestly may not. I think you should pursue some answers. But any healing you feel has to come from within yourself. Seriously. You have to realize that all on your own, without anyone else’s opinions, you are worthy and lovable. I don’t even know you, but I know that about you. So before you start looking for fulfillment outside of yourself, try to find it within yourself.
      OK, now onto the business of finding your family. You just need to start by taking a DNA test. You can read our article on what kind of DNA test to take: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry.
      Then you can get my book, or watch my YouTube videos to star the process of using your DNA test to find your biological family.
      Good luck, Matthew.

      Reply
  13. Yacary

    Hello there, I would like to know how to find my birth father, I don’t know what he looks like nor what his name is, my mother won’t disclose any information. He is possibly in Dominican Republic. Can you help me ?

    Reply
    • Diahan

      It all starts with taking a DNA test. You can read our reviews of the best testing company to use depending on your situation: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry.
      If he is from the Dominican Republic, you may not have very many close matches. If you don’t have any matches who are second cousins or closer, it will be VERY difficult to identify your father.
      Having your mother DNA test would be useful, if she is willing, or really anyone from her side of the family would be helpful.
      We have lots of resources here on our blog, as well as our book http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thebook to help you make sense of your DNA match list.
      Good luck!

      Reply
  14. Michelle

    Hello there , I’m trying to find the father of my son. I don’t know remember his name or what he looks like. I met him off a dating site (pof) and we were never in a relationship . I really want to find my son’s father and I’m hoping someone can help me.

    Reply
    • Diahan

      You can have your son and yourself DNA tested. Then you look at his DNA matches and cross off all the people that also match you (they are your relatives). Then start with the top person on his list to try to determine his relationship to them. We have lots of resources here on our site to help with that, including our book http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thebook. Good luck!

      Reply
  15. Paula Bishop

    Hello,
    I have been searching for my birth father. My mother told me of a gentleman whom she believed to be my father. After his passing, I had discovered he had sisters from his obituary. I was successfully able to reach out to who would of been my cousin. I did take a DNA test through ancestry.com, as well as my "cousin." She never showed up on my list of relatives (I feel like a fool). Basically, I guess I’m back to square one. I messaged a lady who appears to be my first cousin, still have not received a response. I’m pretty lost, and would appreciate it if there may be another tips or suggestions…help. I’m just lost

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Oh Paula, what a difficult situation.

      With your DNA match who looks to be your first cousin, if she has any kind of tree, you can try to find out who her grandparents are. If she is your first cousin, your father would be one of their sons.
      Have you tried the steps in my book? I do try to walk you through all the steps. http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thebook.

      Reply
  16. Dennis

    Need help finding my birth father. I tried 4 different DNA companies and even paid $2300 to one of them, but no answers other than the information I gave them.

    Reply
    • Diahan

      Dennis, the key really is in finding a close DNA match. As I mentioned below, my book can really help you take the right steps with the results you have. I would also recommend my DNA Mentoring service. I would take a look at the results you have and then make recommendations about your next steps. http://www.yourDNAguide.com/thementor.

      You might also try YDNA testing to try to help you identify your biological surname. We have a free course that just outlines the basics of what YDNA can do if you want to give that a try. https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydna-free

      Reply
  17. Martha R

    I just did a ancestry kit I bought the 23&me however I have no luck and I really want to know who my biological father is but I don’t have a name and I’m not sure what to do now. Can someone help as to how I can find out some information

    Reply
  18. Simon R.

    Hello, I recently experienced a father search with DNA alone (Ancestry dot com) which was a success, and I think it might be worth reading for those who are searching. The family member whose father had been unknown gave me access to his Ancestry account, where I first perused his many DNA matches and was a bit let-down that his nearest paternal match was just 160 centimorgans. His ethnicity break-down was such that his father was a shade under 100% of one background while his mother has zero of that same background in her. So it was easy to sort his DNA matches between paternal and maternal. Once there, I utilized the rest of Ancestry to create a 4-generation ‘tree’ of the person who was listed as his nearest DNA match.

    (that person did not have his own family tree “linked” to his DNA results, so I had to sleuth around to compose it)

    BUT, as the person was listed as “2nd or 3rd cousin”, it was logical to then expect/anticipate that my family member and his nearest DNA match might share a set of great grandparents. (and if they did, I had their names included on this family tree I’d created of the closest match)

    Although my early instincts were sharp, this is where considerable time passed, because I had no sense for just which of these very ethnic names belonged to the right set of great grandparents, or whether they had unfathomable numbers of offspring I’d have to sift through.

    Eventually, though, I got the idea to search each surname among the 16 great grandparents for ‘matches’ among the public family trees of the rest of the vast number of my family member’s DNA matches. The numbers of matches among them was consistently “1” or “0” matches (since I was using a NON-public family tree, the minimum matches did not have to be “1”)… with one exception: There was one name among the 16 which matched “4” times… (which isn’t many, but it is a whole lot greater than consistent 1’s or 0’s). SO this gave me just the *hint* I needed to guess at which set of great grandparents I should research first. By a stroke of good fortune, a legal document preserved on Ancestry made very clear the total of 4 offspring of those great grandparents, defining not only their names well into adulthood, but also where they lived.

    My next move was to eliminate the grandparent of the DNA match whose family tree I had compiled, as the number of shared centimorgans would have been higher for “1st cousins” than it was for these two people. As fate would have it, one of the other died without having any kids, and another only had a daughter (when I needed a ‘son’ to have been the father I was seeking).

    This left a single offspring of those great grandparents, who sure enough had two sons, each of similar vintage, either one of which could have been the father I was seeking.

    Now that I had a strong suspicion I knew the seeming ‘answer’ from the back of the math book, I suddenly had the luxury of being able to work in the opposition direction. With a handful of other DNA matches at my fingertips, I sifted around until I found others who I could more easily trace to their exact relative position based on shared centimorgans. Eventually I could match 4 of the person’s 5 closest known DNA matches and list their family relationships to the set of brothers I had isolated. With that I felt it was with something akin to GPS precision that I knew one of the mentioned brothers had been the father.

    We happened to get lucky further when another family member was emboldened by my discovery to ask the mother, point blank, if she recalled anything at all about the long-ago father. When she cited the same first name as one of the brothers (in a ‘blind’ test scenario) then we had our final answer.

    I just want to post this, for people who are in search of ‘family’, to give testimony to the new reality that DNA data databases like these really can be used to determine blood relationships, and that professional researchers in this area of work really have powerful understanding at their fingertips.

    As for DNA “privacy”… I would suggest to most everybody that because so many others out there are so sincerely inclined to want to place their DNA data onto these genetic database websites, that the one in 10,000 who might have preserved true ‘privacy’ 20 or 30 years ago by NOT giving out his/her DNA, is now on the verge of ‘hopeless’ because so many other well-meaning humans have submitted their DNA. (once the law has narrowed the possible offender down to you or your 97yo grandmother, they’ll just follow you around and swipe that discarded cigarette, or Coke can, and have you cold anyway)

    I wouldn’t call my search for this father “easy”… but it could have qualified as “easy” had I been more familiar with what I was doing (and thus more confident while doing it). A well-honed sharpie could have identified the 2 brothers I found within 2 or 3 days, if not a few hours.

    I hope this helps somebody out there better understand that the search is worth undergoing, especially with professional help.

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      Thank you for sharing your experience! And congratulations on your success.

      Reply
  19. Diego

    Hi there! I have a question: Is AncestryDNA’s database large only in America? I’m from Mexico City and I’m looking for my biological father, a sperm donor. The only data my mom was given was his physical description and his age, but not his name. How large is Ancestry DNA’s database in Mexico?

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      Great question. Ancestry does not sell DNA kits in every country. But the do sell them in Mexico. However, they don’t publish any country-specific numbers. So the best thing to do is just test yourself, and then see what you find.

      Reply
  20. Nyvea

    i would like to know who my real dad is my mom has a new boyfriend she always takes up for his side i trying to find who my real dad is tell i can leave

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      If you take a DNA test, we can work with your DNA Matches to determine who your biological father’s family is. We may not be able to identify him personally (it depends on what kinds of matches you have) but we will be able to learn something. If you need help deciding which DNA test to take, go to https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry.

      Reply
  21. Jessica

    My biological mom is passed and none of my family know who my father is. If my father hasn’t done any DNA testing his info won’t show unless he’s in the system correct?

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      Jessica, yes, if you father hasn’t tested his personal information won’t appear in the database. But the wonder of DNA is that it is very likely that one of his family members has tested. Most of the time, for people in the United States, if you are looking for a parent, you can take a DNA test and at least learn about some of your ancestors because cousins of your father have taken a DNA test. For example, we might be able to tell who your great grandparents were. And then if we were feeling really ambitious, we could even try to see which of their grandchildren was your father.

      Reply
  22. Soumali Bhattacharjee

    My father and mother doesn’t know their date of birth and their actual age,can they get dna paternity test?

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      If your parents want to know more about their family, they can take a DNA test from a DNA testing company (like Ancestry, 23andMe, or MyHeritage) to find out more.

      Reply
  23. Pati

    My sister, mom, brother and I all did our DNA on Ancestry. I am the only one who does the genealogy for the family and so all of the results came to me (and my sister). Hers came back that she was my half sibling. We asked our mom about it (we have not told anyone else in the family) and she said it was wrong so we had the test redone although I knew that it had to be correct. Yup, same result. We didn’t say anything to mom this time, she’s 82 years old.
    I set out to find my sister’s biological father. She had 3 1C matches, several 2C matches, many 3C matches and so on. I used the Leeds Method and your method of clustering the shared matches as well and created a family tree.

    There were 4 brothers to chose from but the first two were several years older and married so I have narrowed down to what I think could be the most likely possibilities of 2 brothers of the correct age and unmarried at the time but now do not know how to go any further. Both are no longer living and although their siblings’ children have had their DNA done, neither of their own children have been tested. Am I at the point of waiting until those children are tested? We aren’t real sure about trying to contact the family members since this would be a surprise to them as well.

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      Hi Pati. Such a tough situation. First of all GREAT JOB in finding the right family. I hope you and your sister have some measure of peace knowing who her grandparents are. That is a big deal. As for next steps, it is really up to your sister. Is it enough for her to know this much? How important is it to her to know more? Have her 1C matches reached out to you at all? If they have, great, then it’s ok to continue a conversation with them about what you have discovered. If not, it really is best to NOT contact them, and try to contact the descendants of the others two brother’s directly. The fewer people involved, the better you are able to protect the privacy of your sister’s dad and his family. But in order to reach out it needs to be worth it for you. Good or bad outcome, you will be changing the way their family sees their father or uncle. That isn’t something to take lightly.

      Reply
  24. Micheala Greene

    I am 29 and back on the search for my father. My mom had me at a very young age and the man she told me was my father all my life actually wasn’t. I searched for him for years to find out he passed away. From there I found his aunt and mother and even found out he has two daughters. Well, I took a DNA test with the mother and daughter and found out I wasn’t related to them. At this point, I want to start my search again but dont know where to start because I dont have a name. How should I proceed?

    Reply
    • Sunny Morton

      Michaela, That must have been so discouraging after all your effort to find the man’s relatives, to not be related to them. The good news is that now that you have tested, you can start to use your DNA match list to look for people you ARE related to on his side. Follow these strategies to sort your list of DNA matches into your mom’s side and your birth father’s side. (You didn’t say where you tested, but the best place to start looking for birth relatives is AncestryDNA, if it’s available where you live, because of the enormous number of other testers and their DNA tools. So if you haven’t tested there yet, I’d consider doing so.)

      Reply
    • your dad

      MY DAD IS GONE HELP ME FIND HIM CAN YOU HELP ME FIND HIM

      Reply
      • Danielle Francis

        Hi Micheala,if you’re looking to find information about an unknown birth father we can definitely help you. Have you taken a DNA test yet? That is always our first suggestion for finding a relative. For most cases we recommend testing with Ancestry because they have the largest database of testers. Once you have your results, check out this free guide for some great tips about using DNA to find birth relatives: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/birth-family, or consider a Mentoring Session for one-on-one help understanding your results (https://www.yourdnaguide.com/thementor).

        Reply
  25. Sean Linden

    I’m searching for my father my mother not telling me anything about my father. I found out that I’m 48% Spanish I have registered with ancestry.com but that not very helpful I’m seeing people who are related to me are 4th and 5th 6th cousin.

    Reply
    • Sunny Morton

      Sean, Thanks for your question! It can be tough when your closest DNA matches are so distant. It is most useful when they are 2nd cousins or closer. You should read an article we recently published that from a man with French ancestry who also doesn’t have very many matches. His DNA question is a little different (he’s looking for ancestors, not a birth parent), but the strategies for finding good matches are the same. Your birth roots journey may take some time as you wait for more people to test. Keep in touch with us for free tips and encouragement by subscribing to our newsletter.

      Reply
  26. michelle Fox

    It’s so hard to find out who your dad is and I can’t ask my mum and my family is no help I did a DNA test but it did not help me !! At all I don’t know what to do now ?

    Reply
  27. chris

    I didn’t find out that I was adopted until I was about to get married and the priest wanted my baptismal certificate which was in the name I was given by my natural motherThis was a surprise but also explained some things which happened in childhood
    I eventually found out who my natural mother was and in UK if you were adopted prior to 1970 you must go through an agency to make contact. She didn’t want to know.
    Over time researching discovered I have 3 half siblings all girls – agian they don’t want to know
    Have taken Ancestry and My Heritage DNA the closest match is a half niece next closest match is a 2nd cousin and I can identify who he is and our relationship
    Most people contacted re DNA don’t bother to reply and/or don’t have any kind of tree I what use is something that says 3 people all private) On Ancestry closest match is 5th cousin or greater.

    Region Parent 1 Parent 2 You
    Total: 4 50% 50% 100%
    Ireland 49% 47% 96%
    England & Northwestern Europe 0% 2% 2%
    Norway 0% 1% 1%
    Scotland 1% 0% 1%
    I believe parent 1 is my natural mother as I have been constructing a tree and several generations back have found Scottish ancestors so that implies parent 2 is worwegian and English from
    No ideas now of where to go

    Reply
    • Danielle Francis

      Hi Chris, have you checked out our free guide with tips to finding biological family(https://www.yourdnaguide.com/birth-family)? This will give you some tips and next steps to how to find more about your birth mother.

      Reply
  28. Helen Aponte

    I am trying to research my husbands line. He is not very interested in his lineage but his daughter is so she helps. My husband and his daughter both took Ancestry DNA tests and we did find some interesting information on his descendants but nothing on his parents or grandparents so I got him to take the 23 and me test. No results yet but I wonder, do all the 23and me tests search for the Y DNA? I could not figure this out when I was buying the test kit.

    Reply
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  30. Anneka

    Hey there, I’m currently attempting to find my dad with 0-no information other than the wishy washy stuff my mums told me which is next to no help. How could I go about this? I did a dna test a while back but yeah. Unsure who and where I should go through to get better information on my dad and dna etc. Ty for any help provided.

    Reply
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  32. George D. Dill

    I read these comments with interest and wonder still wonder if we can find an unknown father after 170 years has passed. Let me explain: I am looking for the father of Bathsheba Morgan (born 1868 in Wales) and her six older brothers. Their mother was Elizabeth Morgan (born about 1831 • Newtown Montgomeryshire, Wales). Elizabeth Morgan was never married. I and several other offspring of Bathsheba’s brothers have never found any written record or clue who the father of her seven children was. We do not know if they had the same father or different fathers. Nonetheless, we all would like to know the name of Bathsheba’s father and who his parents were.

    I am not genetically related to the Morgan family. My late wife is directly related to Bathsheba Morgan; Bathsheba Morgan was her grandmother so I am interested in finding out the surname of Bathsheba Morgan’s father and grandparents for my children’s family tree.

    I have taken a Family Tree DNA test and a 23andme test. I am in communication with the families of Bathsheba’s brothers. But I do not understand how to use the shared DNA data to someday determine who Bathsheba’s father and grandparents were. Is this a lost cause?

    I would appreciate your advice. Thank you. With love in Christ,

    George

    Reply
    • Danielle Francis

      Hi George, Thanks for sharing your story. To find more information about the father of Bathsheba Morgan your first step will be to get someone to test who is genetically related to Bathsheba. If any of your wife’s siblings (or cousins from that line) are able to take a test, that would be best (here’s why: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/test-relatives).We recommend testing with AncestryDNA becuase they have the largest database, you can read more about our DNA test recommendations here: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/best-dna-tests-ancestry. Autosomal DNA testing can identify ancestors that are 3x great grandparents and closer, so this is definitely doable with DNA! Check out our free guide for what to do next once you have your DNA results: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/find-ancestor-using-dna

      Reply
  33. alysandra

    Hi, I just had a baby almost 8 months ago with a guy I had a one night stand with and met in a bar and don’t know his name. I texted him and he said he’d be willing to take a DNA test, but when it came down to getting serious about doing it, he disappears on me and every time I ask his name he ignores me and again disappears on me.
    I need help finding out his name so that I can get a court ordered DNA test and get child support.
    Is that something you guys could help me with? Or how would I go about doing so?

    Reply
  34. Elizabeth Brooks

    I’ve been trying to figure out how my dad is for a while now.. my mom has unfortunately passed when I was 2, she had me when she was only 16 and I’m about to turn 20 in 3 months. She never told anyone who my dad is and I really want to figure out.. just don’t know where to start🥺

    Reply
  35. Jean Georgitso

    I am trying to find my fathers birth father. Everyone has passed away, so it should not cause any issues for anyone. Does this same method of finding your birth father work for finding your father’s birth father? Myself, a brother and a sister have done the Ancestry DNA tests. I have been able to separate my matches by maternal and paternal…but I am stuck there.

    Reply
    • Danielle Francis

      Yes, these principles also apply to finding you father’s birth father. Your next step will be to divide your paternal side matches into two smaller groups, one for matches related through your father’s mother, and the other will be matches related through his unknown father. You can read about this process in our free guide: https://www.yourdnaguide.com/birth-family

      Reply
  36. Sandy Maxwell

    I don’t know who my Father is. My Mother has passed away and never told me. I took the 23andme dna test and see a couple of first cousins and a few 2nd cousins, and so on on my Father’s side. I’ve reached out to dozens of them and no one will even write me back. I’ve reached out to my first cousin, (who only gave her initials), 4 times over the last 6 months, and she will not respond at all. I’m quite certain whoever my real father is, has passed away by now. I’m sure it was an affair on both sides, and understand they don’t want to upset anyone, but I just want to know his name, and if I could see a picture of him, would be great. I just don’t know what other steps I can take to find out on my own. What else can I do at this point?? Please help!

    Reply
  37. Lesley Dooley

    I turned 40 Last November i bought myself my heritage DNA kit. And i still don’t understand it. Does anyone know how it works?

    Reply
  38. T Gray

    So, here is my issue. I took a myHeritage DNA test. I have absolutely no familial matches to anyone related to who my mother thought my father is. No variation of his surname or his mother’s either. I am at a loss. My closest relatives are 2nd and third cousins who appear to be on my maternal side.

    Reply
    • Your DNA Guide

      MyHeritage has a smaller testing pool than Ancestry (around 6 million compared to Ancestry’s 20 million or so). I would recommend first taking a test at Ancestry to see what other matches pop up for you. It’s not a guarantee you’ll have more matches, of course, but the odds are much better.

      Reply
  39. Cheryl hurt

    My story is a bit different. I was being snoopy one day while my mom was at work and actually came across a paper that was from child support that had my father’s info on it.unfortunayly my husband threw away everything of mine when I left him.I have a name ( I believe the spelling is right )I know he was from Germany and I know he was in the navy . I located on line an obituary for a man with the same name alot of the same info as to what I knew already. I know he had other children but in the obituary none of them were referenced only a step daughter and a grand daughter nieces and nephews. I’m pretty sure I’ve got the right person but don’t want to upset anyone if I reach out to them I just don’t know how to go about it plus I want to be sure this man is the correct person before I do how do I do this thank you in advance for any help or advice you could give me.

    Reply
    • Your DNA Guide

      You can look for the parents of the man you think is your father, then trace out those descendants and see if they would test or have already tested. Since those people are a little more removed, it might make it an easier way to get more information. Also, you don’t have to tell any of the family members right off the bat exactly how you think you might be related. You can say something like “I’m looking for more information about my family and I think we may be related”. This is another way you can start to get more information without rushing right in (see link below to free guide with tips on contacting matches). One of our Classic Mentoring sessions could be a good option too if you would like a confirmation of her theory, the link to that is below as well.

      https://www.yourdnaguide.com/thementor
      https://www.yourdnaguide.com/dnamatches

      Reply
  40. Rose Lefebvre

    I am now 70. I was born in 1952. I found out that the father who raised me was not my biological father after he had passed and a few months before my mother passed Feb 2022. My sister and one brother did the Ancestry DNA test as well and it says they are full siblings but I am their half sibling. Surprise. Altho all my life I had felt like I didn’t fit in. I am pursuing matches that say we are distant cousins but nothing so far. I know my mom was 17 when she got pregnant. She turned 18 in Dec 1951, married the man who raised me in Jan 1952 and I was born July 24 1952. and they were together ever since. So far I have not had any luck in finding my genetic father. Everyone who might have had knowledge is gone, deceased. What do I do now? I know the possibility is that he is passed, but I would like to know and I might have half siblings. Advice???

    Reply
    • Your DNA Guide

      I’ve included a link below to a free guide about Birth Roots that gives excellent advice for a situation like this. I would recommend that you start sorting your matches by maternal and paternal side (the link to Ancestry’s Dot System below is an excellent resource for this exercise). Since your half siblings have tested, it should actually be pretty easy. You may also find the Ancestry Sideview helpful (link below) because in some cases sideview can help identify unique ethnicity information about the unknown parent. Good luck!

      file:///C:/Users/Steph’s/OneDrive/Lazo%20Projects/Desktop/YourDNAGuide/Free%20Guides/3%20Things%20DNA%20Can%20Tell%20You%20About%20Your%20Birth%20Roots.pdf
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRrEEDziYAs
      https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/ancestrydna-sideview

      Reply
  41. Carlos

    Trying to find my biological father, I have his name, date of birth, some pictures from the 70’s and I found two of his brothers but for 20 years now, I still can’t find him. I have several DNA test even my mom took one to separate my dna but no luck. What else I can do?

    Reply
    • Diahan Southard

      Hi Carlos, Thanks for your comment. Generally our focus is in helping people find the identity of their biological family members, which it sounds like you have already been able to do (great job, by the way!). What is it that you still want to find out about your biological father?

      Reply

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